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1 gal burgandy wine 1 cup gin 1 cup rum 1 cup brandy 1 cup sugar 1 can frozen orange juice 1 can frozen lime juice i'm pretty sure thats the receipe, i haven't made it in about 8 or 10 years. it tastes just like the sangria in Spain. be safe

this is the first year we are not going to Hawaii because of COVID-19. we usually don't go because we cant afford it. be safe

had a colonoscopy done yesterday, i asked the doctor to write a note to my wife telling her my head was not up there. be safe

got some birdseed today for my feathered friends. i'll never forget the look on the cashiers face when i asked her, " how long will it take for the birds to grow after i plant them?"

two things to make your day better... 1. do not watch the news 2. stay off the bathroom scales i feel better already. be safe

i asked my ex if she wanted to get married, her reply..."NO, you're just after your money." can't argue with that. be safe

they say marriages are made in Heaven... but so is thunder and lightening. be safe

Not in jail, not in a mental hospital, not in a grave. I say i'm having a very good day. be safe

my wife asked me, "why don't you dust while i'm at work. i replied, you come from dust, you will return to dust. thats why i dont dust, it may be someone i know. be safe

the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. my wife asked me if she was fat, i replied, NO, you're just easy to see. be safe

i'm on two diets now. wasn't getting enough food on just one. be safe

1. never take beer to an interview. 2. always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. i's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. 4. if you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets. 5. even if you're certain you are included in the will, it's rude to...

i just learned something new today about rainbows. they appear as full circles when you're in the sky, they only appear as half circles from the ground because there's no rain below the person viewing it. be safe

my neighbor complained about my dogs chasing his kids on bikes, i told him there's no way, my dogs don't have bikes. be safe

Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgemnet. be safe

getting older is just one body part after another saying, "ha ha, you think that's bad? watch this." i always knew i was getting older, but i didn't think it would be this fast be safe

the fact that there is a highway to HELL and only a stairway to HEAVEN says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers. be safe

my wife was in front of the tv watching an exercise program and going through all the different positions like those on tv, and i commented on what she was doing, and she got really angry with me. does your wife get upset when you say something about what she is doing? i told her the only way...

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played golf with the wife yesterday. imho, that is just like an adult Easter egg hunt. be safe